Friday night our family ate dinner out at one of our favorite restaurants, IHOP (a.k.a. International House of Pancakes for those who aren't familiar, although I can't imagine anyone not being familiar with IHOP). We often like breakfast food for dinner and our boys really love the chocolate funny face pancakes. Okay, I know it's not the healthiest of entrees, but it makes my kids happy and I usually get a bite or two because these pancakes are so big they cover the ENTIRE plate and then some. It's not like we feed our kids chocolate for dinner every night.
So we're sitting in our booth enjoying our meal when this family sits at the table on the other side of the wall from us. It's two men, one obviously a bit older than the other, and two kids - a teenage girl and a little boy who might have been 3 years old at best. If I had to guess, I'd say it was a single dad with his kids, meeting the man's father for dinner. I'm a people watcher and I notice things, what can I say?
Now... I don't make it a habit to eavesdrop on others' conversations, however, I couldn't help but overhear this family's discussion. They were talking about plans for Thanksgiving and it appeared the younger man was attempting to talk the older man into joining the family for the holiday. The older man was hemming and hawing about not wanting to "drive all that way" and the younger man tells him he's just making excuses and asks him what the real reason is for his lack of desire to join everyone. The man finally says it's because he doesn't want to dress up and he doesn't enjoy eating out. I'm thinking to myself, "Hello? You're sitting in a restaurant, aren't you?" and I nearly laughed when the younger man said EXACTLY the same words at the very same time.
Grandpa (That's what I'll call him) says that eating with just a few people is fine, but not huge crowds and certainly not dressed up because that makes him uncomfortable. The teenage girl and her dad (Again... I think that's the relationship here) both tell him he doesn't have to dress like he's going to a wedding, but wearing a nice pair of khakis and a decent shirt or sweater is sufficient. Grandpa tells them he likes jeans and sweatshirts and he's simply not going to this Thanksgiving gathering... period. End of discussion. The younger man says something to the effect of "I don't understand why you don't want to spend time with everyone. Other people make concessions. Why can't you?"
That was really the end of the conversation and I sat there in my booth wanting so badly to speak up and tell the old guy to lighten up, get over his attitude and join his family. I wanted to scream, "Just go to the dinner already!" I came so close to going over as we were leaving, but I didn't have the courage. I figured I'd cry if I even began to speak. I lost my dad almost 6 months ago. My parents were divorced when I was 4 and I saw him once a week throughout my childhood, more sporadically throughout my teenage years and college, and rarely ever (maybe once a year, sometimes twice) during my adult life because we're a military family and don't get home very often. I never expected Dad to die so soon and what I wouldn't give to be spending some time with him this holiday season. So many people don't have the opportunity to be with family, for whatever reason, and yet here was this man complaining about the fact that his family wanted him, and was practically begging him to join them for a holiday dinner, but he was unwilling because of ridiculous reasons. Open your hearts, folks, and gather close those you love and those who love you back.
Sunday, November 18, 2007
Stinky Feet
Last night all four of us gathered in the master bedroom to watch a movie. Our youngest son was lounging on the bed between my husband and me when he began talking about his feet and how he's betting they probably stink. He takes off his socks, then proceeds to pull one foot up to his nose (I used to be able to do that about a hundred years ago) to take a whiff. "Yep," he confirms, "they stink alright."
Friday, November 16, 2007
You can date when you're in middle school
I have no idea how my boys got on the subject of girls and dating, but a couple of days ago, I heard them (Okay, I sort of eavesdropped on their conversation!) talking about when it's appropriate for kids to start dating. My oldest son informs his younger brother that he can start dating when he's in 7th grade in middle school. What? That would mean he's going to be dating in less than two years!
My boys are 11 and 8 years of age... Isn't that terribly young to be concerned with this kind of stuff? Let's talk about sports and bodily functions and other gross things! Now I'm wondering if there's more to the story. Is the oldest starting to take notice of girls? Does he have a crush on someone? That could explain the occasional blank stare when he's doing his homework. I'm going to keep my eye on this situation!
My boys are 11 and 8 years of age... Isn't that terribly young to be concerned with this kind of stuff? Let's talk about sports and bodily functions and other gross things! Now I'm wondering if there's more to the story. Is the oldest starting to take notice of girls? Does he have a crush on someone? That could explain the occasional blank stare when he's doing his homework. I'm going to keep my eye on this situation!
Thursday, November 15, 2007
'Tis the season...
Don't you just LOVE all the catalogs that are delivered to your house during the holiday season? It's not even Thanksgiving, folks, and today I received 18 catalogs in the mail. 18! I was totally overwhelmed and immediately threw 15 of them away. I guess it's only going to get worse between now and Christmas, huh? 18 catalogs! That's crazy! 'Tis the season, I suppose, but it still amazes me at the amount of junk being printed and distributed every single day. Save a tree or two and stop sending me your catalogs!
Report Cards
The boys' report cards came home yesterday and we were very pleased as well as very preplexed. Both kiddos did well academically, but let's start with the our little man. 2nd graders don't receive traditional letter grades yet, which I honestly didn't know until the parent/teacher conference last week. They receive O's for "Outstanding," G's for "Good," S's for "Satisfactory," and N's for "Needs Work."
The little man brought home a couple of O's (His teacher tells me she doesn't give many of those), lots of G's and a smidgen of S's. Of course every parent would love for his/her child to come home with straights O's, right? That's just the way we are. What perplexes me is that he received S's in the area of "Work Habits," specifically "Complies with Established Rules," "Exhibits Courteous Behavior" and "Respects Personal and School Property." What? Okay, I understand these S's mean my kid is doing fine, that his overall works habits are satisfactory, but they aren't "good." I'm not necessarily worried, only curious. What I'm wondering is... what on earth is he doing or not doing that prevents him from getting a better rating? And he's not respecting personal and school property well enough to at least get a G? Is this how juvenile delinquency starts? Things that make you go "Hmmmmm."
The 5th grader brought home all A's and B's, which was definitely pleasing to us. He's in an advanced math class, which challenges me daily (That's another blog), but he pulled out an A and we're thrilled. Go get 'em, Tiger! He received A's in all academic areas except one... Science, where he received a B. B's are good and we're cool with those.
But here's the perplexing part of the report card... He received B's in P.E. and General Music. What? How do you get a B in P.E. and Music? I didn't think that was possible, but apparently, I'm wrong. Come to think of it, he received B's in P.E. last year as well. Do we have a lazy, couch potato on our hands or what? I guess we should be happy he's not in high school where GPA means everything these days, otherwise how would we begin to explain to perspective colleges that our son just couldn't attain that elusive A in P.E.? I did notice that every category in which the big man received A's, he also received an "Outstanding" for effort, however, every category in which he received B's, he received a "Good" for effort. Things that make you go "Hmmmmm."
The little man brought home a couple of O's (His teacher tells me she doesn't give many of those), lots of G's and a smidgen of S's. Of course every parent would love for his/her child to come home with straights O's, right? That's just the way we are. What perplexes me is that he received S's in the area of "Work Habits," specifically "Complies with Established Rules," "Exhibits Courteous Behavior" and "Respects Personal and School Property." What? Okay, I understand these S's mean my kid is doing fine, that his overall works habits are satisfactory, but they aren't "good." I'm not necessarily worried, only curious. What I'm wondering is... what on earth is he doing or not doing that prevents him from getting a better rating? And he's not respecting personal and school property well enough to at least get a G? Is this how juvenile delinquency starts? Things that make you go "Hmmmmm."
The 5th grader brought home all A's and B's, which was definitely pleasing to us. He's in an advanced math class, which challenges me daily (That's another blog), but he pulled out an A and we're thrilled. Go get 'em, Tiger! He received A's in all academic areas except one... Science, where he received a B. B's are good and we're cool with those.
But here's the perplexing part of the report card... He received B's in P.E. and General Music. What? How do you get a B in P.E. and Music? I didn't think that was possible, but apparently, I'm wrong. Come to think of it, he received B's in P.E. last year as well. Do we have a lazy, couch potato on our hands or what? I guess we should be happy he's not in high school where GPA means everything these days, otherwise how would we begin to explain to perspective colleges that our son just couldn't attain that elusive A in P.E.? I did notice that every category in which the big man received A's, he also received an "Outstanding" for effort, however, every category in which he received B's, he received a "Good" for effort. Things that make you go "Hmmmmm."
What to do?
Today I was shopping in a local Hallmark store, looking for special cards since I don't have a lot of extra time to stamp my own right now, but that's a different issue...
While I was perusing a card aisle, a woman approached me asking for money. She had just asked a man shopping nearby and he waved her off. This woman appeared to be someone who didn't speak English as the only word I understood her to say was "Please." She thrust a hand-written note at me that explained she was poor and couldn't afford to feed her children, and in the name of God would I please give her some money.
I was totally caught off-guard by the whole incident. My heart goes out to anyone who doesn't have the ability to feed themselves or their children, and it's in my nature to want to trust that what someone is telling me is the truth. I reached into my purse and pulled out some money to give the woman. She thanked me and went on her way.
After she walked away I found myself standing there wondering if I'd been "had" by some scam artist looking to get a hand-out. I watched the woman to see where she would go and I noticed that she went into the adjoining room, which is a separate store. I approached the salesperson in Hallmark and asked her if she knew the woman and she said she didn't, but another customer had reported that the woman was begging. I can't imagine that this woman could stick around in the store very long because I'm sure it can't be good for business.
I made my purchase and walked outside and saw this same woman talking to another woman, then they parted ways, walking in different directions. The woman to which I'd given money then started approaching people in the parking lot, I'm assuming asking for more money.
I still don't know if this was a legitimate plea for help or a total scam, and of course I'll never really know. I now find myself wondering if I should have handled the situation differently. Should I have given her money at all? Should I have given her more? Should I have asked to pray with her on the spot? I don't know. I wish I had been better prepared.
While I was perusing a card aisle, a woman approached me asking for money. She had just asked a man shopping nearby and he waved her off. This woman appeared to be someone who didn't speak English as the only word I understood her to say was "Please." She thrust a hand-written note at me that explained she was poor and couldn't afford to feed her children, and in the name of God would I please give her some money.
I was totally caught off-guard by the whole incident. My heart goes out to anyone who doesn't have the ability to feed themselves or their children, and it's in my nature to want to trust that what someone is telling me is the truth. I reached into my purse and pulled out some money to give the woman. She thanked me and went on her way.
After she walked away I found myself standing there wondering if I'd been "had" by some scam artist looking to get a hand-out. I watched the woman to see where she would go and I noticed that she went into the adjoining room, which is a separate store. I approached the salesperson in Hallmark and asked her if she knew the woman and she said she didn't, but another customer had reported that the woman was begging. I can't imagine that this woman could stick around in the store very long because I'm sure it can't be good for business.
I made my purchase and walked outside and saw this same woman talking to another woman, then they parted ways, walking in different directions. The woman to which I'd given money then started approaching people in the parking lot, I'm assuming asking for more money.
I still don't know if this was a legitimate plea for help or a total scam, and of course I'll never really know. I now find myself wondering if I should have handled the situation differently. Should I have given her money at all? Should I have given her more? Should I have asked to pray with her on the spot? I don't know. I wish I had been better prepared.
Wednesday, November 14, 2007
Precious Moments...
The last couple of days have been full of simply precious moments for my husband and me. Yesterday was Veteran's Day and our boys joined their Cub Scout Pack for a flag-raising ceremony at the beginning of the school day. I love it when the kids participate in patriotic events because they are so intent on doing a good job, taking it all very seriously.
The boys wanted Daddy to wear his military uniform because it was Veteran's Day, so he obliged. They're very proud of the fact that their dad is a military man. So am I!
Later in the day, we were fortunate enough to be able to attend the school Thanksgiving dinner and joined both of our boys during their classroom lunch periods. Each classroom met parents in the lobby and sang a patriotic song before going in to the cafeteria. I fought back tears listening to those sweet singing voices. There's just something incredibly moving about hearing children sing.
Thanksgiving dinner was actually pretty tasty (turkey & gravy, mashed potatoes, stuffing and green beans) and brought back memories of past Thanksgiving dinners at school. We were getting ready to eat with our 2nd grader when he surprised us by asking if we would say the blessing with him. Usually he's shy about praying in public, and if we do pray, he wants us all to say our old stand-by "God is great, God is good" prayer together. Yesterday he held our hands and prayed his own special prayer. My husband and I were both fighting back tears.
Last night my husband and youngest son made a bird feeder together in the basement. It was a Cub Scout activity they needed to do for an achievement. The little man was so ecstatic about doing something special with his dad. He got to use some of Daddy's tools and he was so proud of himself afterward. He immediately ran upstairs to show his brother and me what he'd made. He told my husband, "Daddy, that was fun! When can we make another project?"
Today I was invited to read a story to my youngest son's class (I volunteered last week in my oldest son's classroom). This morning we picked out a book together and then I showed up this afternoon to read. He was so happy I could be there and I just felt this overwhelming feeling of thankfulness for the opportunity. So many parents don't have these opportunities, so I realize how fortunate I am to be able to volunteer.
These moments with our children are fleeting. I feel the days just flying past us and I want to freeze time and savor every day. Before we know it, our kids will be in middle school and won't want Mom and Dad to come to their school. It won't be cool then and we'll probably be an embarrassment. I'm enjoying these precious moments while I can. Investing in my children is the greatest gift I've ever given myself.
The boys wanted Daddy to wear his military uniform because it was Veteran's Day, so he obliged. They're very proud of the fact that their dad is a military man. So am I!
Later in the day, we were fortunate enough to be able to attend the school Thanksgiving dinner and joined both of our boys during their classroom lunch periods. Each classroom met parents in the lobby and sang a patriotic song before going in to the cafeteria. I fought back tears listening to those sweet singing voices. There's just something incredibly moving about hearing children sing.
Thanksgiving dinner was actually pretty tasty (turkey & gravy, mashed potatoes, stuffing and green beans) and brought back memories of past Thanksgiving dinners at school. We were getting ready to eat with our 2nd grader when he surprised us by asking if we would say the blessing with him. Usually he's shy about praying in public, and if we do pray, he wants us all to say our old stand-by "God is great, God is good" prayer together. Yesterday he held our hands and prayed his own special prayer. My husband and I were both fighting back tears.
Last night my husband and youngest son made a bird feeder together in the basement. It was a Cub Scout activity they needed to do for an achievement. The little man was so ecstatic about doing something special with his dad. He got to use some of Daddy's tools and he was so proud of himself afterward. He immediately ran upstairs to show his brother and me what he'd made. He told my husband, "Daddy, that was fun! When can we make another project?"
Today I was invited to read a story to my youngest son's class (I volunteered last week in my oldest son's classroom). This morning we picked out a book together and then I showed up this afternoon to read. He was so happy I could be there and I just felt this overwhelming feeling of thankfulness for the opportunity. So many parents don't have these opportunities, so I realize how fortunate I am to be able to volunteer.
These moments with our children are fleeting. I feel the days just flying past us and I want to freeze time and savor every day. Before we know it, our kids will be in middle school and won't want Mom and Dad to come to their school. It won't be cool then and we'll probably be an embarrassment. I'm enjoying these precious moments while I can. Investing in my children is the greatest gift I've ever given myself.
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