The age of innocence is fleeting

I knew this day was coming, and it's finally arrived. My oldest son, at the age of 13, has decided he's outgrown Santa. I knew this was the case as he'd been questioning the very idea of the great, magical bearded one for probably the last 2-3 years. In fact, I'm sure he stopped believing a while ago, but just didn't announce the news to the family for fear of having nothing under the tree on Christmas morning.

We were recently at a kids' Christmas party on base, and Santa was handing out the gifts under the tree, calling each kid up, one at a time, to sit on his knee and have his/her photo made. "D" wasn't keen on sitting on anyone's knee and he came to me to ask if he could opt out. Our truth-revealing conversation went something like this...

D: Do I have to sit on Santa's knee?

Me: Why don't you want to sit on Santa's knee?

D: I'm too old for stuff like that.

Me: What makes you say that?

D: I don't know.

Me: Don't you believe in Santa?

D: No, not really.

Me: Why?

D: Mom, I just don't think it's possible.

It wasn't so much what he said, but how he said it that made me realize he truly no longer believed. I knew it didn't matter what I said. His mind was made up.

Me: (Slightly panicked) Does your brother still believe?

D: I don't know, but I think so.

Me: Keep it alive for him!

D: Got it!

We talked about how the belief in Santa is a magical part of Christmas and we don't want to ruin that fun for other kids and their families, so he should keep his thoughts and beliefs to himself. I believe he gets it.

I know now that it's true... the age of innocence is long gone, and that makes me a little sad. I find myself wanting to turn the clock back and make time stand still. My little boy is a young man now, a young man with feet bigger than mine and 6 more inches on his frame than this time last year. He's growing up and leaving fairy tales, childhood games and pretending behind. How can that be?

Were his Christmases magical? Will he carry with him cherished memories of Christmases past? I certainly hope so, as I have such fond memories of Christmas as a child. Everyone should, don't you think?