You Might Be a Redneck...

If you use Christmas stocking hangers with the letters E, L, N and O to spell "LEON" instead of "NOEL," you might be a redneck.

That's just what my husband did several days ago after we'd first hung our stockings on the mantle. We were having some new friends over and I was rushing around trying to make sure everything looked nice and in order. I NEVER noticed the stocking hangers spelled "LEON" and he finally had to point it out to me. I'm not sure what that says about me. I'm either not very observant or I really am a redneck, which is probably the case.

We decided to leave the hangers as they were to see if our guests noticed. No one said a thing for the longest time, but eventually their teenage son pointed it out. These new friends are probably a little leery of us now, not quite sure what to make of us and our stab at humor.

Josh Groban's "Noel" Christmas CD

I don't know about you, but I have a crush on Josh Groban, the young pop-classical singer who's about the hottest thing since sliced bread, in my opinion of course. His 2007 Christmas CD, "Noel" is breaking records in the music industry and after purchasing it last week, I can certainly see why. It's fabulous!

I first heard of Josh Groban a few years ago when my girlfriend Stacey gave me his "Closer" CD (THANKS, STACEY!), the one which includes the song "You Raise Me Up" which is still one of those songs that makes me stop whatever I'm doing and just listen. I just love this guy's style! He's so relaxed when he's singing and has such a pure quality in his voice. I'm not an authority on music, but I know what I like, and I like Josh Groban!

This Christmas CD has a smattering of duets with singers like Faith Hill and Brian McKnight, and it also had a tear-jerker version of "I'll Be Home for Christmas" in which the listener hears voices of military personnel sending their holiday greetings to loved ones throughout this beautiful Christmas classic. It makes me cry every single time I hear it.

If you're looking for a great Christmas CD to purchase this year, I highly recommend this one! Happy listening!

Bethlehem Walk

For the past 7 years our church has put on an amazing event during the Christmas holiday season. It's called "Bethlehem Walk" and it's basically a re-creation of the city of Bethlehem at the time of Jesus' birth. People dress in costumes, there's a live nativity and it's just a great way for families to come and experience the true meaning of Christmas. This year our boys not only sang in the kids' choir, they dressed as students in the synagogue as well and they had a blast.

Gift Giving 101

Okay folks, there are only 8 more days until Christmas, therefore your shopping days are numbered. If you have yet to purchase all of your gifts and need some advice, you've come to the right place... well sort of. I might not be able to tell you what to buy, but I can surely tell you what NOT to buy for that special person on your gift list.

First of all, when purchasing gifts for others, don't give gifts YOU want, give gifts THEY want. Get it? You're giving the gift to someone else, not to yourself. If the recipient is conservative and is the flannel jammies type, don't buy them the skimpy new lingerie you saw in the Victoria's Secret store. Have an idea about who the person is and what the person wants, and if in doubt, ask them! What a novel concept, huh?

Never buy anyone clothing unless the person flat out tells you what they want, including the size, the color and even the store in which one can find the item. If you guess at the size, your gift is guaranteed to be offensive because a) you end up insinuating that the person is larger than they are willing to admit, which will really tick them off, or b) you appear to be thoughtless when you buy an item that's too small and now the person has to be faced with the embarrassment of admitting they are too large for the garment, thus ticking them off. It's a no-win situation. I'm telling you, clothing purchases are usually a waste of time and a total headache because the person will either take back or never wear the item you give them. They'll tell you they love it, but will you ever see it on them? I don't think so.

Another gift item to avoid giving at Christmas is jumper cables. What? You never thought of giving a set of jumper cables to someone you love at Christmas? Me neither, but I received a set one year! No, really, I kid you not. I'm sorry to have to steer you away from that idea, particularly if you're considering buying them for your significant other. While it might make you think you have the other person's safety and best interests at heart, it won't fly. Trust me on this. They're JUMPER CABLES! They don't say "I love you." Seriously... I think Jeff Foxworthy could use this in his act. "If you give your boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife a set of jumper cables for Christmas, you might be a redneck." Enough said... let's move on.

Have you ever been the proud recipient of a household appliance at Christmastime? Come on, you know nothing says "I love you" more than a blender or a toaster! Listen, and listen good, my friends... If someone requests a household item, that's one thing, but if they don't request it, don't even go there! One Christmas I received a vacuum cleaner from my former in-laws (Note the word "former"), and while I pretended to be ecstatic about the gift, I couldn't help but recall the fact that my then-husband (Note the word "then-husband") received all the personal items he'd requested. I thought the vacuum cleaner made a better couples gift, especially since we were both working outside the home. The gift I received made it very clear to me who was expected to do the vacuuming in our house. Are you people listening? NEVER buy a household appliance for someone you love unless they put it on their Christmas wishlist. I'm telling you, you'll be sorry if you refuse to heed this valuable piece of advice. And if you are the recipient of such a gift, you have my permission to pout and vent all you want! I certainly do my fair share.

That's all the advice I have for today. I certainly hope you will benefit from my experience. Happy shopping!

Random complaints

It never fails... I go to the bathroom to do my "business," go to grab a wad of toilet paper and there are maybe four squares left, hardly enough to finish the job. Why is there seemingly NEVER any toilet paper remaining on the roll when I have to go to the bathroom? It's probably because my kids use practically the whole roll in just one trip to the bathroom, thus the recent blog regarding clogged toilets.

Same thing with paper towels in the kitchen. I go to clean up a mess of one kind or another and, lo' and behold, there's either one paper towel remaining on the roll or none altogether. Naturally someone has to replace the roll, so it might as well be me, right? It's my job. I live for it.

Here's a little test question for you....

What would you do if you ate the last Pop Tart in the box?
a) Throw the box away.
b) Put the box back in the pantry.

My children evidently think "b" is the correct answer, however, I assure you, "a" is the correct answer. This happens a lot at our house. What's so difficult about throwing away an empty box? I'll never understand the reasoning in putting the box back in the pantry.

Same thing with drinking the last bit of ANYTHING in the refrigerator. Why, in God's name, would you put it back in the refrigerator? I just don't get it!

My children and I have differing opinions on what's clean and what's not clean. When asked to clean and organize their rooms, they pick up clothing items and occasionally hang or fold them, but usually they just put them in the hamper, even the clean clothes because it's easier. The toys and trinkets and so forth? They've become masters at shoving them into the nooks and crannies of their bookshelves. It makes me crazy! And of course we can't ever get rid of anything! Everything has value and should be kept forever, even if it's broken. Makes total sense to me, how 'bout you?

Those are just the things that are on my last nerve today. What (or who) is on your last nerve today? Come on, you can vent to me. I won't tell anybody.

What's a "gyro" anyway?

I've been spending way too much time in the mall lately. I normally get most of my Christmas shopping done via the internet, but I've had to actually break down and physically go in search of a few items this year. I'm not really a mall shopper for the most part, so this experience doesn't thrill me in the least. Last night I had to take my youngest son to see Santa (the oldest bowed out) and we'd just missed the bearded gentleman as he had taken a break for dinner, therefore we had to come back an hour later. Oh joy! Another hour in the mall - just what I had been looking forward to all day!

I've had the opportunity, or misfortune, depending on how you look at it, to eat a meal or two in the mall during a couple of these excursions. I've walked past the same little food court area several times now and one place in particular makes and sells "gyros." Now, I've heard of these, and I believe they're a Greek sandwich of sorts if I'm not mistaken, but a country bumpkin like me could certainly be mistaken. I'm just curious to know what exactly are these "gyros" made of anyway?

I had also wondered for years (Yes, YEARS!) how to pronounce the word "gyros." I've heard people call them "jie-rose" or "hee-rose" or "gee-rose" (hard "g" like in "goat"). Well, let me tell you, I might not know what these sandwiches are made of, but I now know how to pronounce the word... sort of. This place in the mall had it posted in their window. I guess they got tired of answering the question, "How do y'all say that there word?" It's pronounced "yee-ros," but of course I don't know if that's supposed to be a short or long "o," which disturbs me greatly. Inquiring minds wanna know!

My, that's FESTIVE!

You hear the word "festive" a lot this time of year. Ever notice that? People talk about being in a festive mood or they'll use the word to describe how something looks. I guess it's just one of those words associated with holidays, and it's meant to be positive, complimentary even.

Whenever my husband and I hear the word "festive," we share a look and a little chuckle. During our first Christmas holiday season as married folks, we spent some time driving around the area in which we lived, looking at the Christmas lights. We noticed there were some homes decorated to the hilt and we found ourselves comparing them to the Griswalds from "Christmas Vacation." Maybe we'd see all blue lights on a house with the exception of a strand of red where perhaps they'd run out of blue. Or maybe we'd see a combination of huge colored bulbs mixed with strands of small clear lights. In other words, we thought they were tacky.

We finally came to the conclusion that we were being way too critical. I mean, who were we, the Christmas decor experts? At least folks were getting into the spirit of the season, which is what's important, right? So instead of calling someone's Christmas decorations "TACKY," we called them "FESTIVE." If they only knew...