Monday, December 17, 2007

Gift Giving 101

Okay folks, there are only 8 more days until Christmas, therefore your shopping days are numbered. If you have yet to purchase all of your gifts and need some advice, you've come to the right place... well sort of. I might not be able to tell you what to buy, but I can surely tell you what NOT to buy for that special person on your gift list.

First of all, when purchasing gifts for others, don't give gifts YOU want, give gifts THEY want. Get it? You're giving the gift to someone else, not to yourself. If the recipient is conservative and is the flannel jammies type, don't buy them the skimpy new lingerie you saw in the Victoria's Secret store. Have an idea about who the person is and what the person wants, and if in doubt, ask them! What a novel concept, huh?

Never buy anyone clothing unless the person flat out tells you what they want, including the size, the color and even the store in which one can find the item. If you guess at the size, your gift is guaranteed to be offensive because a) you end up insinuating that the person is larger than they are willing to admit, which will really tick them off, or b) you appear to be thoughtless when you buy an item that's too small and now the person has to be faced with the embarrassment of admitting they are too large for the garment, thus ticking them off. It's a no-win situation. I'm telling you, clothing purchases are usually a waste of time and a total headache because the person will either take back or never wear the item you give them. They'll tell you they love it, but will you ever see it on them? I don't think so.

Another gift item to avoid giving at Christmas is jumper cables. What? You never thought of giving a set of jumper cables to someone you love at Christmas? Me neither, but I received a set one year! No, really, I kid you not. I'm sorry to have to steer you away from that idea, particularly if you're considering buying them for your significant other. While it might make you think you have the other person's safety and best interests at heart, it won't fly. Trust me on this. They're JUMPER CABLES! They don't say "I love you." Seriously... I think Jeff Foxworthy could use this in his act. "If you give your boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife a set of jumper cables for Christmas, you might be a redneck." Enough said... let's move on.

Have you ever been the proud recipient of a household appliance at Christmastime? Come on, you know nothing says "I love you" more than a blender or a toaster! Listen, and listen good, my friends... If someone requests a household item, that's one thing, but if they don't request it, don't even go there! One Christmas I received a vacuum cleaner from my former in-laws (Note the word "former"), and while I pretended to be ecstatic about the gift, I couldn't help but recall the fact that my then-husband (Note the word "then-husband") received all the personal items he'd requested. I thought the vacuum cleaner made a better couples gift, especially since we were both working outside the home. The gift I received made it very clear to me who was expected to do the vacuuming in our house. Are you people listening? NEVER buy a household appliance for someone you love unless they put it on their Christmas wishlist. I'm telling you, you'll be sorry if you refuse to heed this valuable piece of advice. And if you are the recipient of such a gift, you have my permission to pout and vent all you want! I certainly do my fair share.

That's all the advice I have for today. I certainly hope you will benefit from my experience. Happy shopping!

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