Wednesday, December 5, 2007

A Solitary Christmas

I was a little bummed earlier this week to learn my husband has to be away on work-related business for a few days starting tomorrow. This weekend our church has a Christmas event in which our entire family was supposed to participate, but of course my husband can no longer be there and I hate that! Some things just aren't the same without him, but I've decided to get over my funk and be appreciative for the blessings in my life.

My husband is only going to be gone for a few days. It's not as if he's deploying or serving a remote tour like some of our friends are doing. He won't be away at Christmas, but LOTS of our men and women in the Armed Forces will be separated from their loved ones this holiday season. We've done the "Christmas apart thing" and it's not something I'd care to do again, but we managed, and I believe came out stronger for having endured the separation.

My husband left early-September 2004 and returned mid-January 2005. 4 months! That initially sounded like an eternity to me because we'd never experienced a lengthy separation. He'd been through deployments, but that was before we even knew one another. He knew what to expect, but it was even a little different for him in that this time he had a family he was leaving behind.

Naturally my husband missed lots of holidays and special events, a first for our family. I had moments when I felt really sorry for myself. I told myself families shouldn't have to be apart during these special times, and of course they shouldn't, but sometimes they have to be, and the only choices we have are to accept and deal with it or not. Let's face it, if you're part of a military family, you're eventually going to endure separation from time to time, especially now. No one is exempt, no matter how fair or unfair that may seem. It's reality.

I didn't enjoy being separated from my husband. I love him! I'm crazy about him! Our kids are all about hangin' with Dad and I knew we'd all miss him terribly. But then I realized that while we'd be missing one person, my husband would be missing three people. He would be in unfamiliar surroundings with strangers, only seeing a familiar face once in a while. The boys and I would be in our comfortable home in familiar surroundings with lots of friends supporting us. That humbled me greatly.

I also felt I couldn't allow myself to complain about a 4-month separation when there were (and still are) families enduring year-long (or longer) separations, sometimes back-to-back. Nope, I wouldn't complain about 4 measly months when I knew it could be much longer. And my husband's job, thankfully, didn't put him directly into harm's way. That was a huge comfort for me, a luxury many families do not experience.

One night during that memorable Christmas season a group of spouses from our squadron surprisingly showed up on our front lawn, kids in tow, to sing Christmas carols and bring the boys and me a gift basket of thoughtful goodies. I opened the door to them and just stood there, tears streaming down my face. These ladies understood what we were going through and they cared enough to share the Christmas spirit with us. I will never forget what a special moment that was and how grateful I felt.

This year we have several friends who will be spending Christmas in faraway places, separated from their families. We're grateful for the service and sacrifice of both the military members and their families. We wish them comfort, joy, peace and love this holiday season. Please keep these special families close in thought and prayer.

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