We all know that one day our kids are going to learn about sex, but most of us dread it with a passion and stick our heads in the sand until there's no denying that it's time to have THAT talk. And the main reason it's time for US to have that talk is due to the fact that our oldest child is in fifth grade this year, and his class is getting ready to study human growth & development. We're okay with that and want our son to participate in this program, but we want to be sure we know what they're teaching and how we can help here at home. The school will be covering all the basics (puberty, personal hygiene, reproduction, STDs & the benefits of abstinence), but you and I know they can't get into morals or bring religion into the classroom. We know that's where we need to step up and give our child some direction.
My husband has chosen to take the lead with this challenge and I'm ever so happy to allow him that opportunity. I also love him dearly for the time and effort, not to mention the sensitivity he's putting into giving our son the scoop about the birds and the bees. My husband bought a book at the Christian bookstore to help give him some guidance and it's been very helpful so far.
We're trying to determine how much our son knows. He's not the type of kid to share information about his physical self, unlike our youngest, who would tell a stranger on the street anything they wanted to know and then some. I'm not kidding. My husband has had the opportunity to take advantage of times when our youngest hasn't been around, therefore he's able to talk a little more freely with our older son.
This is a special time in our son's life, but it can also be scary and awkward for all involved. We don't want to mess this up! My husband and I are attempting to prepare our son for what he's about to start studying in school without giving him more information than he's ready to process. We want to be upfront, honest and open about things so he'll feel comfortable coming to us with his questions and concerns, but at the same time we want to treat this subject gently and respectfully. How I wish there was a foolproof manual with step-by-step instructions on how to do this the right way! Parenting isn't for wimps, that's for sure!
4 comments:
Oh, do I know what you're going through. We've been really open with our son about reproduction since he first started asking questions. We've tried to balance being honest with not giving him more information than he's actually asking for. But his body is changing (and boy can we tell!) and I know the time is coming for us as well. He knows the basics of how children are conceived and born, but none of the practical stuff that he'll need to know to get through puberty. I'll be watching with anticipation to see how you guys handle it. I can always use tips. :o)
Hey M, Can you tell me the name of that book? I have a feeling it'll be me explaining things...O;)
Shannon,
Scott's reading "Preparing Your Son For Every Man's Battle" by
Stephen Arterburn and Fred Stoeker with Mike Yorkey.
This is a tough time , that is for sure. I think kids know alot more than we think or want to think they know.
Heck, I have a 20 year old in college and I am STILL telling him about things out there and how some girls can be etc etc!
Now I have a 16 year old who has a steady boyfriend ( though I think in high school thats a waste) but I had to do the "talk" with her and she already knew it...her brother told her..THANK GOD FOR BIG BROS! =)
I still teach wait until yrou married and I HOPE they both make/made that desicion...but you never know. ANd you can only teach them the reprocutions of the action. and you pray they listened.
Susan
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