Friday night our family ate dinner out at one of our favorite restaurants, IHOP (a.k.a. International House of Pancakes for those who aren't familiar, although I can't imagine anyone not being familiar with IHOP). We often like breakfast food for dinner and our boys really love the chocolate funny face pancakes. Okay, I know it's not the healthiest of entrees, but it makes my kids happy and I usually get a bite or two because these pancakes are so big they cover the ENTIRE plate and then some. It's not like we feed our kids chocolate for dinner every night.
So we're sitting in our booth enjoying our meal when this family sits at the table on the other side of the wall from us. It's two men, one obviously a bit older than the other, and two kids - a teenage girl and a little boy who might have been 3 years old at best. If I had to guess, I'd say it was a single dad with his kids, meeting the man's father for dinner. I'm a people watcher and I notice things, what can I say?
Now... I don't make it a habit to eavesdrop on others' conversations, however, I couldn't help but overhear this family's discussion. They were talking about plans for Thanksgiving and it appeared the younger man was attempting to talk the older man into joining the family for the holiday. The older man was hemming and hawing about not wanting to "drive all that way" and the younger man tells him he's just making excuses and asks him what the real reason is for his lack of desire to join everyone. The man finally says it's because he doesn't want to dress up and he doesn't enjoy eating out. I'm thinking to myself, "Hello? You're sitting in a restaurant, aren't you?" and I nearly laughed when the younger man said EXACTLY the same words at the very same time.
Grandpa (That's what I'll call him) says that eating with just a few people is fine, but not huge crowds and certainly not dressed up because that makes him uncomfortable. The teenage girl and her dad (Again... I think that's the relationship here) both tell him he doesn't have to dress like he's going to a wedding, but wearing a nice pair of khakis and a decent shirt or sweater is sufficient. Grandpa tells them he likes jeans and sweatshirts and he's simply not going to this Thanksgiving gathering... period. End of discussion. The younger man says something to the effect of "I don't understand why you don't want to spend time with everyone. Other people make concessions. Why can't you?"
That was really the end of the conversation and I sat there in my booth wanting so badly to speak up and tell the old guy to lighten up, get over his attitude and join his family. I wanted to scream, "Just go to the dinner already!" I came so close to going over as we were leaving, but I didn't have the courage. I figured I'd cry if I even began to speak. I lost my dad almost 6 months ago. My parents were divorced when I was 4 and I saw him once a week throughout my childhood, more sporadically throughout my teenage years and college, and rarely ever (maybe once a year, sometimes twice) during my adult life because we're a military family and don't get home very often. I never expected Dad to die so soon and what I wouldn't give to be spending some time with him this holiday season. So many people don't have the opportunity to be with family, for whatever reason, and yet here was this man complaining about the fact that his family wanted him, and was practically begging him to join them for a holiday dinner, but he was unwilling because of ridiculous reasons. Open your hearts, folks, and gather close those you love and those who love you back.
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