The things I go through just to be violated!

I know we women have to take care of ourselves and be our own health advocates. We need to have regular check-ups... pap smears and mammograms, etc. I'm a responsible adult and I take these things quite seriously, however, there are those times when you just don't want to go to the appointment.

Last night I had a mammogram. All things pointed to me either missing or simply cancelling last night's appointment. The clinic usually calls to remind people of their appointments. I never received a reminder phone call and I'd even forgotten to add the "event" to my computer calendar. I did, however, remember to write it in my date book, so there it was... plain to see... I had a mammogram scheduled for Thursday, January 31st. I couldn't ignore it like I wanted.

My husband is out of town and that meant I had to take my kids with me. I don't really need company when getting my breasts smashed. Seriously... it's not a group kind of activity. Thankfully the boys didn't ask questions about what I was doing. I told them I was there for a check-up, which wasn't a lie. I just omitted the details of said check-up.

Last night my oldest son had to study for a math test, so we were in a time crunch to get homework done and dinner prepared and eaten before leaving for my appointment. Another excuse not to leave my house for any reason! Amazingly enough, the homework went smoothly and so did dinner, therefore I had plenty of time to get ready for my mammogram.

We left home with ample time to get to the clinic, but didn't get a half mile down the road when we came upon an accident with police and an ambulance on the scene. The road was blocked and we had to detour. I wasn't real familiar with the route we had to take and was concerned about where we'd end up and if I'd be able to make it to the clinic on time. Good Lord, why didn't I just cancel the appointment?

We were approaching the clinic with only a few minutes to spare, when I just passed by the entrance as if I were lost. I can't tell you how many times I've turned in to this entrance. I suppose I could blame my mistake on the fact that it was dark and I was preoccupied. Whatever! I was wasting valuable, precious time! I had to turn around and go back.

Then I couldn't decide where I should park. The well woman clinic is toward the far end of the building and upstairs, so I figured I should park on that side of the building. I ended up parking in a location reserved for emergency room patients, but I didn't care. There was plenty of parking and I chanced it, setting what I'm sure was a fine example for my children.

The boys and I practically ran to the building. I didn't want to be turned away after going through so much to get to this appointment. We went upstairs to the well woman clinic and then it dawned on me that they only do paps here. I'd already been there and done that a couple of weeks ago. The mammograms are performed in radiology. DUH! Wake up, McFly! So we hurried back to the elevator and went back downstairs to find radiology.

No one was at the desk in radiology. I made some noise so someone would realize there was life in the lobby and after several minutes, someone finally rounded the corner. After filling out some paperwork, I was in a room waiting for the tech to start the mammogram.

The tech was very pleasant and all was going well until she put my breast into the "vice" and smashed it. I think I saw stars! In fact, I know I did! I've had two other mammograms in my life and neither of them came close to hurting as much as this one. Yowza! This woman, who had seemed so nice, had just transformed into the devil himself right before my very eyes. They tell you to hold your breath when they squeeze your breast for the x-ray. Yeah, no problem because I CAN'T BREATHE! I jumped through hoops for this? The things I go through just to be violated!