9 Words Women Use

As clever as I'd like for you to believe I am, I cannot tell a lie... the following is not my own creative compilation of words women use and the underlying meaning behind each of them. This is an email I opened this morning and although I've read this before, as many of you may have as well, it just cracked me up all over again and I thought I'd share it with you, in hopes that it might bring forth smiles and chuckles in the midst of your day. Some of these are so on the money. We women really are a complicated breed sometimes, aren't we? I'm wondering if I should print this out for my husband's future reference. Hmmm...

(1) FINE: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

(2) FIVE MINUTES: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. FIVE MINUTES is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

(3) NOTHING: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with NOTHING usually end in FINE.

(4) GO AHEAD: This is a dare, not permission. DON'T DO IT!

(5) LOUD SIGH: This is not actually a word, but a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A LOUD SIGH means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about NOTHING. (Refer back to #3 for the meaning of NOTHING.)

(6) THAT'S OKAY: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. THAT'S OKAY means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

(7) THANKS: A woman is thanking you... DO NOT question or faint. Just say, "You're welcome." (I want to add a clause here - This is true, unless she says "Thanks a lot" - that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say "You're welcome" ... that will bring on a WHATEVER.).

(8) WHATEVER: Is a women's way of saying SCREW YOU!

(9) DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT; I GOT IT: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking "What's wrong?" (For the woman's response, refer to #3.)