He's growing up...

Our older son is growing up entirely too fast. I've noticed just how tall he's getting and now he's got this peach fuzz on his upper lip and a little acne every now and then. He's becoming a young man and I'm wondering how that happened. Seemingly I blinked and he sprouted into this tweener. He'll be a teenager next year and that blows me away.

A couple of weeks ago I went to give the big man a hug and he shrunk away a little. He's never been an overly affectionate kid in that he'll allow hugs and he'll hug back, but he doesn't initiate them, unlike our younger son who is perfectly comfortable with giving and receiving hugs and always has been. I asked our big man if it was okay that I wanted to hug him and he said, "Yeah, but just not in public." Okay, I understand that and I respect his feelings, so I only give hugs in the privacy of our own home.

Last week our boys' elementary school invited parents to come have lunch with their kids. My husband and I made arrangements to be available as we realize these moments are significant, for the boys and for us. Soon enough they'll be in middle school and these precious opportunities will be few and far between. Our kids are growing up so fast and we just want to be present for every event, whether it's attending an awards program, a ballgame or simply having lunch with our boys.

So we showed up at school at the appointed time, anxiously anticipating lunch with the boys. We knew we'd have to divide and conquer because the boys had lunch at the same time, but sat in different locations, so my husband would join one of the boys and I'd join the other. Our younger son has a real "daddy thing" going on these days, so I knew he'd probably want to eat with my husband. I'm cool with that because I know he doesn't get to spend as much time with his daddy as he'd like, and he sees me all the time.

We spied our older son first and I went over to say hi and to check with him to see if it was okay for me to have lunch with him. I happened to notice none of the other kids at his table had parents accompanying them. It occurred to me that D might not feel comfortable being the only kid with a parent hanging around, so I asked him privately if it would be okay if I joined him or would he prefer that I join his brother instead.

My sweet son looked at me and said, "Either way is fine."

I got the distinct feeling that D just didn't want to hurt my feelings, so I told him I wanted him to decide what he really wanted. I asked him point blank, "Would you like for me to sit with you during lunch or would you prefer I have lunch with your brother? You can be honest and you won't hurt my feelings. Am I cramping your style?"

My son looked at me and sheepishly said, "You can just sit with M."

WHAT?! So I really WAS cramping my son's style! Oh, the pain a mother feels when she knows that her very presence embarrasses her child! Can you believe that? After all I've done for this kid and he blows me off like that! I'll just go have lunch with my OTHER son, who WANTS me around!

Oh, wait! I couldn't allow this to bother me because I told him he could be honest and that I wouldn't be hurt, and while I do understand, it does hurt a little. I know this is all part of maturing. Kids go through phases where it's not considered cool to hang with the parental units. Hopefully it's truly just a phase, that he'll eventually come around and not be ashamed to be seen with us in public.